Love, Blood, Time and Air
by NepetaTheShipper
Summary: In a world full of time paradoxes, trolls, ships and even more yaoi than Bleach (The Manga) comes the epic tale of a never before seen (I think?) love triangle starring Dave, John,and Karkat. Who will win?Who will lose?And who will cry like a little baby?Only the author can decide this choice so suck it up. Heh. Just kidding, but really. Its my first Fic, so thanks for reading! c:
1. Chapter 1

**_Heir of Breath: John_**

" Jade what are you doing?" " Hmmm? I'm just watching Con Air, remember? You said that you wanted to watch it for your Birthday…" "Oh my god… how could I not have realized this sooner…" "John?" "MY TASTE IN MOVIES SUCKS!" Well I think it's a good movie " "No its not" Said John as he munched on piece of popcorn. " EVEN MY TASTE IN POPCORN SUCKS!" " John, your just being a bit overly dramatic" " No Jade I AM NOT being dramatic! This movie just plain fucking sucks." " John. Shut up. I know you're annoyed for being on this ship for about 2 years. And frankly I'm pretty annoyed too for being here for two years AND by your annoying commentary on the movie. Besides, you probably think this movie sucks because you missed about more than half of it when you were eating cake." " No Jade, this movie is just downright awful." *Sighs* You know John, can you just please watch the movie and be quiet or find something else to do okay? Because SOME of us actually are trying to watch a movie." "Okay, fine. But Jade I cant make any promises."

**10 Minutes later….**

"You know what, I'm just going to see who is online because I just don't think I can watch this movie any longer…" Said John as he stepped out of the living room and to his room. " Ok… lets see whose online….Karkat… no… I do NOT want to talk to you right now, cause you'll just make me feel a little sad…Hmm Dave's not online. Hope I can talk to him soon. Oh! Looks like Rose is online I think I'll talk to her. Although I think I'll get some more cake first…" John then goes out of his room, walks down the stairs and goes to the kitchen to get a slice of cake. _I think I'm going to take the cake up to my room so I don't have to listen to Con Air. _Thought John. As he is about to go up the stairs to his room he stops. " All I need is CAKE. It solves _EVERTHING_" And then John proceeds to walk up the stairs. " Well then John, It's a good thing it's your Birthday. Teeheehee" John then rolls his eyes then goes up to his room and begins to chat with Rose.

**PESTERCHUM**

ectoBiologist began pestering tentacleTherapist

TT: Greetings John! Happy Birthday!

EB: Hello Rose. I wish I could say the same

TT: What is wrong John? Is your Birthday not exceeding your expectations?

EB: *sighs*It's horrible! I can't believe I never realized how bad Con Air was!

EB: And I liked it for _SSSOOO_ long

EB: And my taste in movies is terrible!

TT: Ah… So was that the only horrid aspect of your party or is that where it began to escalate?

EB: WHY?! How could I not have realized this before!

EB: All my life I have wanted to watch good movies…

EB: But I chose bad ones instead! *Sobs*

TT: John…. You have yet to answer my question.

EB: Huh? Oh it was a excellent party! Wish you, Dave, Vriska and Karkat could have been there, heehee

EB: But alas! Vriska's dead and you Dave and Karkat are on a meteor millions of light eons away…

TT: Karkat? You mean that mean tempered troll who is a tad insane?

EB: WHAT?! Karkat isn't insane he's sweet!

EB: Like Gushers! And he's and excellent drawer!

TT: Um… John? Have you ever viewed Karkat's drawings?

EB: Uh… No, but I heard that they weren't so bad

TT: I will have to send you the link so you can see for yourself.

TT: .

TT: **(A/N : I just realized the link isn't working, so sorry bout that, but if you want to check out Karkat's drawing, just type "karkats shipping chart" it should come up. Just look for a 4 colorful squares with crappy heads drawn in them)**

EB: Holy shit. Karkats the worse drawer out of all us. And that's says something. But he's still sweet.

EB: And that shipping charts no even accurate I don't even love y…

EB: Oopsssss. Im so sorry Rose!

TT: Oh no. It is alright John, you are not exactly my ideal type…

EB: Well then, what's your type then?

TT: Seriously John? Seriously?

EB: Yep. I am so super serious

TT: Fine then. My type is people who are very adorable, who are very intelligent and who like magic. Dark magic. Which you are quite frankly not.

EB: HMMM… Interesting. So is there anyone you "like"

TT: Do you also include trolls in that category?

EB: Ahah! So it's a troll then! Which one?!

TT: Ahem… well I actually have not found anyone yet, but I was wondering if the trolls might be included in this scenario

EB: Awww…. How disappointing

TT: Is there anyone you fancy John?

EB: umm… well there is two people… one troll and a human

TT: Troll that you fancy is?

EB: Karkat

TT: Human that you fancy is?

EB: Dave

TT: I am quite surprised John I did not think you were that kind of person...I am not sure if it is women's intuition, but I believe that if you tell Dave or Karkat that you love them, it may comfort you...

EB: no way rose! I couldn't do that... it would be really... well... weird...

TT: John, you have told me yourself that not only the shipping chart but also going God Tier, almost (well you did get killed) by Jack and the incredibly long and painful process of trying to achieve the "Scratch" has bothered you. I do believe telling Dave or Karkat that you love them shall be a piece of cake!

EB: heh. Good Birthday pun Rose!

TT: That was not at all a pun imbecile

TT: Just a figure of speech

EB: well I thought it was good…

EB: Anyway, I think your odd little speech kinda inspired me… I suppose all those crazy things compared to telling someone you love them **_should be a piece of cake_**…

TT: You and your ridiculously idiotic puns.

EB: Anyway… I think I'll tell them today, guess I never had the courage before…

EB: But who should I tell first?

TT: I cannot since that is a very difficult choice indeed. But whichever way this scenario goes, choose wisely…

EB: Awww… I feel like I have to save the world again… but with love…

TT: I beg your pardon?

EB: Um… kinda that dread/ fear sorta thing when you're asked to save the world

EB: But Instead of saving the world, you're telling someone you love them.

TT: That makes more sense now. Thanks for the explanation John.

TT: But the way you stated that answer was most unlike you John. There was a sort of "depth" in your explanation.

EB: "Heroicness" I suppose?

TT: No John, just depth.

TT: Either way, tell me what will become of your love confession in the future, for I shall enjoy finding out.

EB: you are sorta creeping me out Rose…

TT: Imbecile. But I shall look forward to the news John, so do not forget. Till next time, goodbye John.

EB: Bye Rose!

ectoBiologist ceased pestering tentacleTherapist

tentacleTherapist ceased pestering ectoBiologist


	2. Chapter 2

(**A/N: Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie because I am NOT the original creator… Sorry I haven't updated in a while I have been pretty busy lately…But I will try my best to update it as soon as possible!)**

**_Knight of Time: Dave_**

" *yawn*.. I hope it's a cool morning. Cause that's how all cool days start out and a cool guy like me deserves the coolest morning possible!" said Dave Strider. "Ah, lets see, what can I have for my totally cool breakfast?" " Oh god damn..." As soon as Dave stepped out of his room, he was immediately hit in the face with one of his brothers 3 puppets that he had glued to the ceiling. As a joke Bro had put these three puppets in possibly the three most inconvenient places possible just so he could annoy the fuck out of Dave. Dave quickly the puppet to the side. He sighed. Dave really hadn't gone to his apartment much over the past couple of years especially after Bro had died. In fact he was really only here to collect some old and precious items like records and Apple Juice. He also had only stayed over night because he had a very busy day saving the world from evil blah blah blah the day before. As soon as Dave had entered the kitchen, he flipped out. "Oh my God! How is it that I'm rich but have NO food?!" Since Dave hadn't been to his house in years, he had forgotten all about the crazy amount of items in the kitchen. "There goes my cool morning. Damn!" Suddenly, Dave's laptop sunglasses buzzed. Apparently John was in the mood to chat. However Dave was not. He decided to ignore the call. Several minutes later, after Dave have cooled down, Dave remembered about the alchemitizer. " Ok! The morning is cool once again! Hehe. Okay what is a totally cool breakfast item to alchemitis? Obviously apple juice to drink now what to eat? Oh! I know, how about a pizza? Wait... that's not awesome enough. Yes! Chinese takeout! Now that... is COOL!" After Dave had finished his "coolest-breakfast-ever-made" his laptop buzzed once again and.. BUZZZ! BUZZZ! BBBUZZZ…. "Wait! 5 more minutes Bro! I'm still trying to sleep! Let me…BBUUZZZ….Auuugrh! What the…?! That was the weirdest dream bubble that I have been in yet… And it didn't ever look like a dream bubble. Dang! I shouldn't have listened to classical music just now… Why did I have that weird dream bubbly thing? Oh jegus please don't tell me that that might happen. Or has It previously happened? I think It's probably a future thing…I have spent too much time on this meteor…Stupid meteor… Oh shit. Now I REALLY miss Bro…. stupid dream bubble thing….Who the heck invented these weird things anyway?" Feeling quite annoyed, Dave decided to have breakfast. Unfortunately, he was on a meteor with a bunch of trolls with only troll food so his choice of what he could have was limited. Most of the troll food was pretty gross (to humans) so he decided to go with something simple, which was apple juice and noodles with grub sauce and spoor slime. Which was basically inedible… "Wait I don't even like slime… Who hijacked my noodles and put slime into them?! ***Honk** :o) (**_ReVenGe…MoThErFuCkER….ReVeNGe…_**_)_* Gamzee…. Curse you…" "Huh. Guess my glasses are buzzing… Jade. I should probably chat with her haven't talked to her in like a millennium…"

**PESTERCHUM**

gardengnostic began pestering turntechGodhead

GG: ummmm... hello Dave!

TG: What sup homie?!

TG: It's been a while since we talked right? So what's happening?

GG: hmm lets see… well John's party was a disaster… He just realized have bad Con Air was, but I really liked..

TG: Oh my God! Congrats for John! You finally realized how shitty your taste in movies is…

TG: He really should have listened to me sooner cause my taste in everything…

TG: Is

TG: **_AWESOME_**

TG: So… where were we at?

TG: John's horrible taste in movies?

GG: Yep. I ended up finishing it, but he really made me feel bad for him

GG: I mean hello? Everyone should be happy on their Birthday's! John especially deserves it! He is under a lot of stress lately…

TG: Tell me bout it… but then again aren't we all…

GG: Can't agree more…

GG: So what have you be up to Dave?

TG: Well, today I had this crazy dream bout my old home, and it was like, covered in dust and stuff… and I went back there to get some old things… it was kinda depressing actually… I hope that's not like a future thing. I should probably ask Rose… she's pretty accurate with her predictions…

TG: Well… in the end it all turned out to be okay because there was apple juice and CHINESE FOOD! I haven't had that in forever. Chinese food is a gift sent by the gods… as is apple juice

TG: No… apple juice itself is a god

GG: What's with you and apple juice anyway?

TG: You know how some people are addicted to chocolate. Well apple juice is my kryptonite

GG: Hmmm…

TG: Also Karkat invited me to play some weird troll game… It sounds sorta weird. But also fun at the same time

GG: Dave, everything about trolls is weird… but after you finish playing, I would very much like to hear what it is about! …Also say hi to Karkat for me… I haven't really heard from him in a while…

TG: ah…Okay then will do

GG: But really tell me ASP about the game… cause frankly I am sort of bored on this ship with just John, newts and JasperSprite

TG: Who can blame you?

GG: Hey Dave can I ask you something

TG: Yeah what is it

GG: I don't mean to sound desperate or anything but

TG: I knew it!

GG: Wait. What!? You did? For how long!?

TG: Just about a minute ago

TG: I learned that you want

TG: To try some apple juice! So that's why you wanted to know how awesome it tastes! I am sorry Jade, but the Apple gods refuse to give you some first you must offer up a sacrifice of boondollars and

GG: My gosh Dave how dense can you be?

TG: Hehe. Just playing. But I wasn't lying when I said that I didn't know until just now that you liked me

GG: So do like me?

TG: Shit man…. I don't know how to answer that

GG: Come on Dave, It's a simple yes or no question. Even a cool guy like you should know that

TG: Jade. Who do you think you are talking to? You are talk 'in to Dave Motherfucking Strider

TG: And I think we both know who the cool guy is here

TG: Cause my coolness is so awesome,.. It would make everyone cry

GG: ah. Ok then.

GG: But really Dave, I just really want to hear your answer. I wasn't and will never doubt that you're cool. Because you are.

TG: Thanks Jade

GG: So?

TG: Dang Jade I really regret typing this

TG: I like someone buts its not you

GG: So it's Rose then right? So I guess you're okay with the Paradox sibling thing then? Well I suppose It sort of makes sense since youre the Knight of Time and stuff

TG: No Jade It's not Rose

GG: Oh so it's a troll then! It has to be a troll! Which one do you like?

TG: Um Jade its not a troll but I did like Terezi at one point

TG: Tell you bout that another time

GG: So who do you like?

TG: Now I wouldn't call myself the dense one here

GG: Come on DDAAAVVEE! Tell me!

TG: Uh un figure it out yourself

TG: I already gave you WAY too many hints

GG:…hhhhmmmmmmm….

GG:…mmmmmmm ….

GG: …Ahck…..JOHN?!

GG: I don't judge

TG: Blaurgh. Yes its John.

GG: Excuse me for a moment...while I go scream into a squiddle plushie

TG: uh Do you read like manga or fanfics or something?

GG: Hmpf! Well excuse me for not being cool enough!

TG: No, Im not saying that… I read it too or did away.

TG: Bro's Manga obsession kinda rubbed off on me

TG: Once I even cosplayed as Miku from vocaliod and…

TG: Forget what I said! That never happened I was

GG: Really?! you don't say. Anyway…HEY WORLD! STRIDER CAN READ! And Its fanfic!

TG: you know, I forgot how annoying you can be when you get hyped up.

GG: Meanie! Anyway I think you should tell him! teehee

TG: You read to many fanfics...

GG: Come on Dave?! where's your sense of adventure? Hmm?

TG: What kind of fanfic do you read? I don't even want to know so no I refuse

GG: yes

TG: no

GG: YES

TG: Ah HELL NO!

GG: Ah YEAH! Do it for me Dave? Please? I wont tell anyone your secrets

TG: I'll consider it.

GG: seriously?!

TG: fine. But you owe me. BIG time.

GG: ok!

TG: But to make that happen you have to…

TG: Make me 3 apple pies

GG: but

TG: no buts Jade you either make me the pie or no deal

GG: oh why you

TG: this is you

TG: owing me

GG: fine Dave but I hope you know ahead of time that ive never made a pie before so it might end up bad

TG: Jade I will refuse your end of the bargain until you make me 3 perfect apple pies

TG: I don't care I it takes you a thousand tries to get it right, but I will not tell John until tell you give me those pies

TG: Which may take a LONG time

GG: Are you blackmailing me Dave?

TG: Maybe I am maybe I'm not

GG: I think you are

TG: Then yes I am blackmailing you with pie

GG: Dave, you know i dont swear alot but here it is

GG: Fuck you Dave Strider!

TG: remember that sweet wonderful promise?

GG: fine.

TG: Alright then sounds cool. Well then adios amigo.

GG: since when do you speak Spanish?

TG: Since never

turntechGodhead ceased pestering gardenGnostic

gardenGnostic ceased pestering turntechGodhead


End file.
